I’m sitting in my west end home right now, preparing for a great long weekend. The weather is supposed to be great. I’m going to stay away from the core of the city (Carabana weekend) , but I already have all that I need at my house. I don’t think I’ll need to leave for supplies or anything. I have :
- Over 100 cans of Old Mill beer
- Steaks, sausages, bacon, hamburgers
- Lots of toilet paper
I have been having this disturbing pattern of violent diarrhea over the last 5 days, unfortunately. It all started last Saturday. I was at my buddy Bob McCown’s house and we were playing this game in his wood paneled basement called “No bullshit”.
To play the game, each of us sits in a chair facing each other, with our shorts hiked very high above our belly buttons, as high as you can possibly hike your pants. The shorts are hiked high enough when your testicles bulge out of the opening.
After the shorts are prepared, you must place your hand on the respective players knee — both of you facing each other in your chairs. So your hand goes on your opponent’s knee (in my case , Bob’s) and Bob’s hand goes on my knee.
Now this game can’t be played until your opponents testicles are at least subtly or partially visible through the opening in their shorts, so make sure that you can see your opponent’s testicles and they can see yours.
After the preparations are complete, the first person to start has to say something they think to be true about the opponent. This can be anything as long as it is about the opponent. If the statement is untrue, the opponent must immediately say “No bullshit”.
If the statement is indeed untrue, the player who just stated the untrue fact must move their hand 1 inch closer to the opponent’s exposed testicles.
The game goes back and forth — the loser of the game is the player who’s hand is fully touching the opponent’s testicles.
Since playing that game with Bob last weekend, I’ve had violent diarrhea. Should I see a doctor?