Blue collar life

Winter is coming / Applying pressure to my anus

Hey friends!

I know its been a while since I made an update here — I thought I’d write a quick one.

I’ve been fairly busy lately, as we are now in the final stretch of the Toronto Mayoral Election. I’ve also been careful not to neglect my nightly duties of securing Don Bosco High school.

I’m somewhat sad that the weather has changed so drastically. I already miss my weekly BBQ’s, sitting outside in my lawn chairs while slathering ice cold frozen meats on my chest to defrost them before putting them on my expensive Weber BBQ.

Although the view of my huge backyard from my Etobicoke mansion is pleasing to the eye with the fall colors and whatnot, I still feel like something is missing.

At this time of the year I am preparing for our long Canadian winters — my body would need intense preparation and conditioning for the months and months of sitting inside my mansion, usually stuck with my ex-wife. Now its spent alone, with all of my toys, creams, spices and oils.

Out in my backyard, there is a large rock about waist high. During the fall season I usually can be found sitting on that rock for hours on end — preparing my body and mind for the solitude and depressing days ahead.

On this rock, where I usually sit, there is a round cylindrical shaped formation that sticks upward. This is where I usually sit. This is the most comfortable spot in my entire property. I sit with all my weight on the cylindrical shaped rock formation and fully press my anus onto it.

I prefer to wear jogging pants during this time, as the fabric seems to work with the rock and my anus best; I can apply more pressure and control to my body against the rock’s surface.

Sometimes I tuck my penis under my legs and sit down on the rock, pressing my full weight on my testicles and my penis against the rock. This helps me to think and puts the coming months into perspective.

Thanks for listening.

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MDMA Mondays

Hey guys,

Just checking in here from the office at city hall. I’ve had such a boring day today! I got into the office at around noon, and as soon as I sat down at my desk, my assistant told me that my weekly meeting was canceled. There goes my entire week!

With nothing else to do, I find myself just browsing the internet and taking off my shoes/socks. I like to feel the bare carpet in my office on my feet. I like the numb warmness from constantly rubbing my feet aggressively on the carpet.

My top left drawer in my desk of my office at city hall has about 15 MDMA pills in it. Sometimes on Mondays when it gets excruciatingly boring, I crush one of these MDMA pills on my desk into a fine powder. I like to sprinkle this powder into the pee-hole of the tip of my penis. To ensure the powder doesn’t fall out and not fully dissolve into my blood stream, I usually scotch tape my penis hole shut.

After this is complete it usually takes about 30-40 minutes before a warm sensation subtly starts radiating from my groin area, ultimately spreading throughout my legs and lower body. Soon my entire body is warm and tingly feeling.

Ingesting the drugs this way through my penis hole causes the MDMA to be absorbed by my body much slower than if I swallowed the MDMA pill. However, this produces a much more intense “body buzz”‘ , that is more powerful in my groin / penis area than the rest of my body.

Thanks for listening

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Greasebag chicken, baked potatoes and some jello

Greetings Friends,

Your friend and future mayor here. I’m just sitting at home drinking a tall can of shitty beer, sitting in my computer chair as my helper is cooking my dinner for me. What a rainy day! So miserable outside isn’t it?

I used to spend a lot of time underneath a particular bridge, right on the border of Etobicoke and Toronto. The Old Mill bridge, which crosses the Humber River, consists of two bridges: one to carry TTC trains on the Bloor/Danforth line, and one for cars on Bloor Street West.






I used to spend a considerable amount of my time either in parked cars in the parking lot below these bridges, or sitting on various rocks or tree stumps along the Humber River.

So many things used to bring me closer to what I call “Absolute Reality”; The realization of what is true and real in the world, moving beyond the misconceptions, perceptions, manipulations and other misleading factors that one is constantly being bombarded with, with ease and gravitas.

It is this Absolute Reality and the perception of what is real and what is not that is the foundation for all my forward thinking ideas. I bring this concept with me from my younger days sitting underneath the Old Mill bridge, by myself along the river or with a “date” in a parked car.

It is the feeling of pursuing something beyond my reach that brought me to experiment with ways that I could jump start this reality based binge. I was about 24 when I first tried crack cocaine. The rush and energy that it gave me after my first inhale was something that I will never forget. It was the most amazing feeling that I have ever experienced.

In those 20 minutes after taking that hit, rationalizations and logic became crystal clear. The sky was open and unobstructed. Shortly after that initial rush, however, everything came crashing down with a severe case of diarrhea, or the “crack shits” as I used to call them.

I would often return to this area to revisit and experience the pure rush of power and energy that crack would bring me. It wasn’t until much later in my life that I realized I was taking a shortcut.

If you follow one of the paths along the Humber River, you can still see my impromptu diarrhea hole; Overlooking the beautiful river. A gem hidden within a concrete jungle.

Thanks for listening

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Despite my cold I’m going to Gabby’s in Etobicoke : 2899 Bloor Street West

Hey guys,

I know I made a post earlier today about how sick I was. I think I need a night off from securing Don Bosco high school to just unwind and relax with some burgs n’ beers.

Sometimes I make the trek to the “rich area” of Etobicoke, to Gabbys on Bloor West (just on Prince Edward and Bloor, 2899 Bloor West). I like how small it is and I truly enjoy the Gabby’s chain of pubs. You can catch me on the corner bar stool, sucking back ice cold pints of Canadian with a few pounds of wings and some overcooked fries. My buddy Frank, who works at the A&P Food terminal on Queensway and Prince Edward usually makes his first stop after his shift at the warehouse and we usually talk about work and other various things.

Frank and I sometimes share their 10 pound “wings for two” item on the menu. Both of us don’t care — life’s too short to worry!

As the night wears on, we move from the bar over to one of the booths so that we can continue our conversation uninterrupted in a more intimate atmosphere. Usually we order about 2 burgers at this point as well.

Frank mentioned last time that his doctor has some concerns about his prostate, so I hope to find out the results tonight when I get there. I’m looking forward to seeing Frank and the other regulars @ Gabby’s, their warm faces are a welcome sight in this otherwise cold and unfriendly city.

Take care.

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Poppers and root beer and pastor wendell brereton

Hey friends,

Just sitting in my office in city hall currently. It’s been somewhat of a boring (and rainy) day today. I’ve been sentimental during the past few days. I think of the times passed and how far I’ve come in the last few years of my life. I feel like I have come a long way to get where I am now.

Who am I?

The man I am would not be here today if it were not a direct result of my experiences through good times and bad , with my good friends over the years. Specifically, growing up and living with my lifelong friend, Pastor Wendell Brereton, through my early twenties was a real eye opener, in hindsight.

I had an interesting experience, learning who I am and making the choices that led me to the path I ultimately chose. In my mid-twenties I was a reckless and abhorrent individual. Needless to say at one point I needed Wendell’s help to give me a break during a period where money was tight and I was going through several periods of popper / rave addictions.

I would spend most of my nights loosening all the muscles in my body; Huffing poppers and various other inhalants. Just as soon as I came close to falling through the “popper hole”, I would inject small amounts of cocaine into my arm for a muddy and clouded jolt of electricity. I would usually follow the cocaine with a 90s grade ecstasy pill or some then-rare Oxy Contin. Most times I wouldn’t even take note of what I took. I just wanted to feel numb.

Wendell was there for me when I hit bottom. I would crash at his house for a month or two, until I could ultimately get back onto my feet. By the time I ended up at his house, my mind body and soul would be completely drained of energy and I would be a walking zombie. I can remember fondly, arriving at Wendell’s to a waiting hot bowl of Alphagettis and a warm smile.

Sometimes I would sleep for days in his bed — occasionally waking up to his soft voice in my ear; Wendell laying next to me, whispering that it was going to be okay and that I’ll rebound and that I always do.

He would hold me tight and keep me warm in his bed. Sometimes he would insert medical grade thermometers into my anus to ensure my body temperature never fluctuated past a certain range.

I would smile and sometimes giggle at the cold steel instrument being shoved inside me under the covers.

“Just let Dr. Wendell take care of you”, he’s say.

“Why do I do this to myself?”, I would ask.

“God still has a plan for you. He hasn’t given up. Neither should you.”, he would always respond.

Those nights in Pastor Wendell Brereton’s bed were the only truly good memories I have of my twenties.

Take Care.

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Burgers and hotdogs on the same bun?

Hey Toronto,

Just mulling over whether I should come in to work at all today, on (likely) one of the last nice days of the year; Its going to be a beautiful day today.

I have a stash of frozen Lick’s burgers as well as some nice President’s Choice sausages in my basement freezer in my Etobicoke Home.

It’s settled. I will send a message to my administrative staff that I won’t be coming in today. I have enough beer and meat to enjoy a great home BBQ on this fine day.

In case any of you are wondering, my medical condition appears to have subsided; The burning sensation in my penis as well as the appearance of blood in my urine has ceased as of this morning.

One of the things that I have been doing, that I think has contributed greatly to my improved health, is regular anal cleansing , followed by the storage of any cylindrical shaped foods inside my anus for the better part of the day.

This can be accomplished with sausages, hot dogs, cucumbers, carrots, beets or eggplants. What this does is secret the vitamins and other fiber based elements into the walls of my anus while the food is stored inside my anus. The food ultimately dissolves after 12 or more hours of consistent storage and all the nutrients are absorbed into my body during this process.

The other thing I am looking forward to is manually defrosting my sausages in my hands during the day. I love the feeling of cold / frozen meat on my skin. I usually clamp down on the frozen sausage for the first 15-20 minutes, or until my hand is quite numb. Then I usually move outside into my lawn chair and either shove the sausage under my arm or just lay it flat on my belly. Sleeping in the warm sun (especially today) while a freezing cold sausage is slowly melting on my body is an invigorating experience.

Usually after a few hours of doing this , the meat is ready to be thrown onto the BBQ!

Thanks for listening.

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TGIF : BBQ pork loin and pan seared in a rasberry wine sauce

Hi there,

Boy let me tell you, its great for it to finally be Friday. I’ve taken a few breaks posting here over the last month due to my health concerns and my renewed focus on taking walks along the Humber River.

The crisp cold air on my clammy skin is something that I find refreshing and sensual at the same time. Unfortunately the windows in my office don’t open so I have to take brisk rides in my wheelchair scooter to get refreshed. What I’ve done is poke small holes in the groin / scrotum region of my pants in such a way that the cool air is allowed in to make contact with the skin on my inner thighs as I ride my scooter.

In case you’re wondering, the doctor recommended I temporarily ride in a wheelchair scooter until my condition as a result of putting spicy curry sauce on the tip of my penis has been remedied.

I’m going to be leaving work in about an hour or so, at 2:30pm, to get a head start on my BBQ plans tonight. I plan on BBQing a pork loin , wrapped in bacon and spices / bay leaves, and then pan sear the outer edges to get a crisp texture, soaked in a raspberry wine sauce in the pan, which will then be de-glazed and dripped over the exterior at the final stage.

I also have about 28 beers in the fridge in my Etobicoke home so I think I’m all set!

I’ll try to update again to let you know how its going.

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Going for wings + beer tonight

Hey guys,

I’m in the mood for wings and beer tonight. The wife hasn’t come back from her cottage trip (even though she was supposed to be back 2 days ago), and it gets quite lonely in my Etobicoke house so I’ve decided to go out for wings and beer!

The place I plan on visiting is called Wingporium. Its on 1000 Islington Avenue, in Etobicoke. You can find it here.

Come and visit me there! I plan on getting at least 3-5 pounds of wings to start. They have a wide assortment of wings. I like this place because they usually give me Tums or Pepto Bismol upon request so I can continue eating non-stop.

See you there!

Blab

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A day in my life

It all started today. This morning actually.

It was a morning like many other — I was sitting in my chair, eating cheetos, listening to Steve Earle. I made a few calls from my office at City Hall and had a few uninspired conversations with my fellow councilors.

I went out to lunch at 12:45. I walked to the burger king near city hall, got 2 double whoppers from burger king and just plopped myself down on the curb, crossed my legs and just dove right in to the greasy soggy mess that was my lunch.

I felt a huge shit coming on, so I walked back to my office (took the elevator 1 floor up). After taking a shit I came back to my computer. To my surprise, several of my internet sensors were blaring — screaming for my attention. I have a 14 LCD monitors at my desk that displays several key areas of the internet and its current status in relation to my life — 13 out of 14 of those monitors were flashing red. Something happened!

There have been so many negative articles written about me on the internet. It is somewhat upsetting to have to defend myself against such baseless accusations. I thought we lived in a civil society — I guess I was wrong.

Tonight I think I’ll end up making risotto with peppers and goats cheese, also with chedder cheese and swiss cheese and blue cheese. I love cheese so fusfcking much. I’ve decided to try the lamb shank marinade another day

Your friend,

Blobbo

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