BBQ

Despite my cold I’m going to Gabby’s in Etobicoke : 2899 Bloor Street West

Hey guys,

I know I made a post earlier today about how sick I was. I think I need a night off from securing Don Bosco high school to just unwind and relax with some burgs n’ beers.

Sometimes I make the trek to the “rich area” of Etobicoke, to Gabbys on Bloor West (just on Prince Edward and Bloor, 2899 Bloor West). I like how small it is and I truly enjoy the Gabby’s chain of pubs. You can catch me on the corner bar stool, sucking back ice cold pints of Canadian with a few pounds of wings and some overcooked fries. My buddy Frank, who works at the A&P Food terminal on Queensway and Prince Edward usually makes his first stop after his shift at the warehouse and we usually talk about work and other various things.

Frank and I sometimes share their 10 pound “wings for two” item on the menu. Both of us don’t care — life’s too short to worry!

As the night wears on, we move from the bar over to one of the booths so that we can continue our conversation uninterrupted in a more intimate atmosphere. Usually we order about 2 burgers at this point as well.

Frank mentioned last time that his doctor has some concerns about his prostate, so I hope to find out the results tonight when I get there. I’m looking forward to seeing Frank and the other regulars @ Gabby’s, their warm faces are a welcome sight in this otherwise cold and unfriendly city.

Take care.

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Burgers and hotdogs on the same bun?

Hey Toronto,

Just mulling over whether I should come in to work at all today, on (likely) one of the last nice days of the year; Its going to be a beautiful day today.

I have a stash of frozen Lick’s burgers as well as some nice President’s Choice sausages in my basement freezer in my Etobicoke Home.

It’s settled. I will send a message to my administrative staff that I won’t be coming in today. I have enough beer and meat to enjoy a great home BBQ on this fine day.

In case any of you are wondering, my medical condition appears to have subsided; The burning sensation in my penis as well as the appearance of blood in my urine has ceased as of this morning.

One of the things that I have been doing, that I think has contributed greatly to my improved health, is regular anal cleansing , followed by the storage of any cylindrical shaped foods inside my anus for the better part of the day.

This can be accomplished with sausages, hot dogs, cucumbers, carrots, beets or eggplants. What this does is secret the vitamins and other fiber based elements into the walls of my anus while the food is stored inside my anus. The food ultimately dissolves after 12 or more hours of consistent storage and all the nutrients are absorbed into my body during this process.

The other thing I am looking forward to is manually defrosting my sausages in my hands during the day. I love the feeling of cold / frozen meat on my skin. I usually clamp down on the frozen sausage for the first 15-20 minutes, or until my hand is quite numb. Then I usually move outside into my lawn chair and either shove the sausage under my arm or just lay it flat on my belly. Sleeping in the warm sun (especially today) while a freezing cold sausage is slowly melting on my body is an invigorating experience.

Usually after a few hours of doing this , the meat is ready to be thrown onto the BBQ!

Thanks for listening.

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TGIF : BBQ pork loin and pan seared in a rasberry wine sauce

Hi there,

Boy let me tell you, its great for it to finally be Friday. I’ve taken a few breaks posting here over the last month due to my health concerns and my renewed focus on taking walks along the Humber River.

The crisp cold air on my clammy skin is something that I find refreshing and sensual at the same time. Unfortunately the windows in my office don’t open so I have to take brisk rides in my wheelchair scooter to get refreshed. What I’ve done is poke small holes in the groin / scrotum region of my pants in such a way that the cool air is allowed in to make contact with the skin on my inner thighs as I ride my scooter.

In case you’re wondering, the doctor recommended I temporarily ride in a wheelchair scooter until my condition as a result of putting spicy curry sauce on the tip of my penis has been remedied.

I’m going to be leaving work in about an hour or so, at 2:30pm, to get a head start on my BBQ plans tonight. I plan on BBQing a pork loin , wrapped in bacon and spices / bay leaves, and then pan sear the outer edges to get a crisp texture, soaked in a raspberry wine sauce in the pan, which will then be de-glazed and dripped over the exterior at the final stage.

I also have about 28 beers in the fridge in my Etobicoke home so I think I’m all set!

I’ll try to update again to let you know how its going.

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Whats your favourite flavour of potato chips?

Hi friends,

Your friend and future mayor here. I was just finishing a bag of kettle potato chips and sucking all the grease and salt off my fingers when I thought maybe its a good idea to distract myself from my impending legal troubles with finding out what you, my readers, prefer in terms of flavors of potato chips?

Shoot me an email : [email protected] and let me know.

I’ve been storing the potato chip bags in my car on the passenger seat for those times during long driving expeditions where I may need a receptacle for whatever various fluids and secretions my body usually exudes. They are compact and handy for such situations.

In case any of you were wondering about my recent visit to the Etobicoke Meidcal center to address my throbbing groin pains, the doctor examined my areas and determined it was indeed the result of me applying generous amounts of curry sauce to the tip of my penis to keep myself awake during those long nights. Who knew?

Stay tuned.

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Going for wings + beer tonight

Hey guys,

I’m in the mood for wings and beer tonight. The wife hasn’t come back from her cottage trip (even though she was supposed to be back 2 days ago), and it gets quite lonely in my Etobicoke house so I’ve decided to go out for wings and beer!

The place I plan on visiting is called Wingporium. Its on 1000 Islington Avenue, in Etobicoke. You can find it here.

Come and visit me there! I plan on getting at least 3-5 pounds of wings to start. They have a wide assortment of wings. I like this place because they usually give me Tums or Pepto Bismol upon request so I can continue eating non-stop.

See you there!

Blab

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My long weekend starts now!

Hey Guys,

I’m sitting in my west end home right now, preparing for a great long weekend. The weather is supposed to be great. I’m going to stay away from the core of the city (Carabana weekend) , but I already have all that I need at my house. I don’t think I’ll need to leave for supplies or anything. I have :

- Over 100 cans of Old Mill beer
- Steaks, sausages, bacon, hamburgers
- Lots of toilet paper

I have been having this disturbing pattern of violent diarrhea over the last 5 days, unfortunately. It all started last Saturday. I was at my buddy Bob McCown’s house and we were playing this game in his wood paneled basement called “No bullshit”.

To play the game, each of us sits in a chair facing each other, with our shorts hiked very high above our belly buttons, as high as you can possibly hike your pants. The shorts are hiked high enough when your testicles bulge out of the opening.

After the shorts are prepared, you must place your hand on the respective players knee — both of you facing each other in your chairs. So your hand goes on your opponent’s knee (in my case , Bob’s) and Bob’s hand goes on my knee.

Now this game can’t be played until your opponents testicles are at least subtly or partially visible through the opening in their shorts, so make sure that you can see your opponent’s testicles and they can see yours.

After the preparations are complete, the first person to start has to say something they think to be true about the opponent. This can be anything as long as it is about the opponent. If the statement is untrue, the opponent must immediately say “No bullshit”.

If the statement is indeed untrue, the player who just stated the untrue fact must move their hand 1 inch closer to the opponent’s exposed testicles.

The game goes back and forth — the loser of the game is the player who’s hand is fully touching the opponent’s testicles.

Since playing that game with Bob last weekend, I’ve had violent diarrhea. Should I see a doctor?

Your friend,

Blarb

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I reserve the right to choose what I’m having for lunch

Hey Toronto,

What a wonderful Mid July Monday today is turning out to be. My assistant (Lafayette) just told me of a great idea / plan for when I am elected mayor of our great city. She suggested that I fire 22 city councilors and replace them with 100 police officers on the streets of Toronto.

I almost fell out of my chair when she said that! What a fantastic idea!

As you all know, I am about trimming the bureaucratic fat and excess that is municipal politics in the city of Toronto. This just seems like such a crystal clear idea — not only will it save money for our city, it will also make my job as mayor much easier in this city. Think of how much quicker it would be to get things done and make an actual difference in this city with 22 less whiny, immature and downright greedy city councilors?

As soon as I’m done eating this roast beef sandwich I’m going to draft a plan.

How was your weekend? Mine was fairly uneventful. I had a great BBQ on Friday and ended up staying up extremely late with my friends playing poker and drinking beers.

The rest of the weekend I mostly spent sleeping and enjoying my time off.

Take care,

Blob

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BBQ + Buddies + Beers

Hey Folks,

Just updating you guys. I’m currently in my Etobicoke backyard having a great old fashioned BBQ on my end. I went to Brunos Fine Foods on Dundas West and Royal York Road to pick up a bunch of steaks for me and the guys. My wife is on vacation currently so its just me at my house right now.

One of my favorite things to do is down as many cans of Old Milwaukee as possible and have a nice juicy thick steak. Above all else, this gives me the most pleasure I have ever experienced.

What is your favorite thing to do on a Friday right after work?

Your Pal,

Blob

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