Hey folks,
Your busy mayor of Toronto here! As you might have heard, I was recently hospitalized for having calcium inside my penis.
You might ask, “why do you have calcium inside your penis?”
Well, I assure you this was a calculated move on my part. I am testing the viability and strength of me penis on a regular basis. In order to test certain specific thresholds, I have to insert calcium deposits into my penis hole.
Currently I’m writing this in my hot tub in my Etobicoke mansion’s back patio. The warm water and air jets are massaging my groin area, stimulating movement and keeping a constant warm temperature within my groin region. This is necessary to soothe the pain involved with inserting calcium deposits into my penis hole.
Since becoming the mayor of Toronto, there has been some secrets revealed to me about the fate of our great city, kept secret over the past few mayoral terms actually. I have to test my strength constantly to ensure I am strong enough to complete several key tasks that lie ahead of me.
Stay tuned.
Hey Blobby,
Heard those pinko commies at The Star published an itinerary of your day to day activities. It’s a good thing you left out the real important things, otherwise those commies would have had their panties in a bunch. (FYI, that’s a saying that means they’d be pissed off, I know you like your panties literally bunched up and all, just don’t want any confusion there…)